Part II
The Sex Scorpion: our Scorpion Under the Rock.
If there is one inescapable truth about the topic of sex in America it’s that many people would love it if the topic was never broached. The idea seems to be if we never talk about it; or even acknowledge that it happens, then all the problems and sticky questions (no pun intended) will disappear to never trouble us again. The problem is that the society is saturated in sex. You really can’t go through an entire day without encountering a product, program, or story were it doesn’t come up. It’s also a integral part of human life. So why then is it that a subject that we must confront every day, and is so inextricably linked to the human condition is also one of the most taboo?
Thinking of an answer to this question my mind couldn’t help it but turn to an incident that had occurred nearly two years ago while on a sojourn to the Columbus Zoological and Botanical Gardens. As was my want I was making the journey to see one of the more interesting biological phenomenon in primatology. As their name would imply silver langurs are a blackish silver color as adults, but their offspring are a sherbet orange when born and for the first several months of the infants life. I had never seen this phenomenon in person but the zoo had finally had a birth of one of these wonderfully unique primates and I wasn’t about to miss a chance to see such a curious little primate up close.
Unlike the previous occasion when I didn’t get a good look at the infant this time he was out front and center with the rest of the troop. Having accomplished my goal I considered the entire trip a success and simply began strolling around the park marveling at the many animals kept in its confines when I came to the habitat of Pan paniscus known better as the bonobo.
I had somehow just arrived at feeding time which meant I would get to see the group interact in a number of ways unique to bonobs. This could include sex, as the bonobos are known for their strange habit of using sex to solve almost any potential problem in their troops. Sure enough it didn’t take long for two of the animals to start in at which point a young woman with three kids suddenly let out a cry of disgust. One of the women’s children asked their mother what they were doing as she pulled them away from the main holding area to which she replied with no small amount of consternation “something bad”.
It didn’t hit me right away just what kind of a message this woman was sending. But as she extricated her brood from the scene I couldn’t help it but run the incident through my mind again. When I did I found that I had unintentionally stumbled upon the fundamental problem with how sex is regarded in our culture.
“Something bad” I thought?
“How in the hell does she think she ended up with three freaking kids in the first place”?
Although it took me some time to fully appreciate the nature of my discovery. What I had witnessed was part of the process of enculturation that we all go through. Almost as soon as we can begin to explore the world the message of sex as a negative attribute in life begins. It is kept out of site and regarded in speech and action as dangerous, subversive, and something that isn’t even acknowledged as an action let alone a normal one. This was the seed of the attitude that we now speak of in its present context and I had just witnessed its beginning first hand.
It was perhaps the fact that I realized I had witnessed something important that caused me to turn the incident over again and again in my mind on the trip home. I couldn’t help it but feel that it was exactly the wrong message to send to an impressionable mind. Was sex really so awful that she couldn’t have just explained it to the child instead of acting as though he was watching a murder be committed? Was there really tremendous harm in such a thing? What kind of a message was this sending to all of her kids. This and more I engaged in trying to work out from the incident when I found my attention had wandered to the young woman herself. That was when I had a bit of an epiphany.
This woman was probably in her mid to late twenties, very attractive and with more than a few visible tattoos. One of them was in a place at the small of her back commonly known as a “tramp stamp” invoking a vision of a sexually veracious woman whom engages in a great deal of sex with multiple partners in as many varied and wild methods as possible. I could easily see this young woman in said cliché. She was wearing a spaghetti strap tank top which bore her midriff exposing a belly button piercing with a tactful semi precious stone set in it. Her shorts were around a size smaller that was good for modesty and her lack of braw was visibly evident.
In fact this woman; who I had but a fleeting encounter with, was now stuck in my mind. She exuded sex, and sex appeal. Every heterosexual male: bisexual, or lesbian female, who was there almost certainly had noticed her and we had all done so for the same reason. She was attractive sexually to all of us. Yet in a flash this same woman witnessed an act; of which we know she had taken part in at least THREE times herself, condemn it as bad and rushed her younglings from the scene of the crime to prevent any permanent damage to their malleable little minds.
While we can never know what wild things this particular young mother did in her youth it wouldn’t be a stretch to think that she had more than a few fun nights out with men; possibly women also, which she never regarded as “bad” or “dirty” or “embarrassing”. Perhaps motherhood had made her more conservative. Or perhaps she didn’t even realize herself what kind of a message she was sending by her actions. It could also be possible, that as she thinks back to the myriad of sexual escapades in her youth she dreads the day when her kids are going to be do the same thing. We can never really know.
Culture is king as Herodotus observed some three thousand years ago and it can change us in ways that we don’t even realize till it’s too late. It doesn’t change the fact that this woman has unintentionally become the ultimate example of the schizoid attitude towards sex that America has. While beautiful, sultry and highly sexual in her own right she reacted with derision when she was confronted with the very real human (and animal) impulse to engage in sex. This is exactly the attitude that many Americans have about sex itself. Can’t stop doing it, can’t stop watching it, can’t stop talking about it, can’t stop enjoying it, can’t admit to the truth of all the previous statements.
It’s here that we confront our cultural scorpion living underneath the rocks. The sex scorpion; like the woman in our anecdote, is sultry, attractive, highly sought after and beautifully ornate for any person seeking it. But as with all scorpions you must beware its sting. Get to close and it will lash out at you with all the ferocity it can muster, pumping all of its noxious venom into your blood stream making you ashamed, afraid, anxious, confused, and loathe to be in its presence.
This brings us back round to our wayward heroine Belle Knox. What exactly did she do to bring so much hell down on her head at once? Why has she stirred the cultural scorpion of sex out of its slumber to patrol beneath the rocks of the river of knowledge? The answer to this seems to be threefold. 1. Belle Knox talked about and had (on film no less) sex 2. She showed no remorse, and no contrition in talking about and or having sex 3. When attacked she stood tall and refused to back down from her position, demonstrating that she would not be intimidated by the vitriol spewed at her, nor would she modify her position to better suit American societies narrow viewpoint on sex and sexuality.
All these things made Belle Knox not just a threat to that cultural scorpion, but a threat that wouldn’t go away quietly. There is nothing that Americans love more then to pretend that nothing is wrong with our culture. We try vainly to sweep any idea, action, or consequence of our bizarre behavior under the rug and never speak of it again. When one of these uncomfortable ideas refuses to go away, a kind of collective cultural panic takes hold. We literally freak! Untold troves of utterly ridiculous and toxic verbiage starts to fill our blogs, airwaves, and television screens and our deep seeded insecurities bubbly to the surface.
Bell Knox is has become the focal point of that insecurity. She didn’t really ask for it, but she has been targeted none the less. At present she seems to be staying the course in her advocacy which is very encouraging. But no one would blame her if she decided tomorrow to just say fuck it. It really is a thankless job. But as we are about to see so is being a adult film actress. Only this time it’s not political extremists, but people in her own industry that are set against her.
Stay tuned for part three.
The Scorpions Under the Rocks 
Your anecdote there really was insightful. I know that in my household it’s exactly as you describe: if we don’t even acknowledge sex is a thing, it won’t be a problem, so if the topic is raised the immediate reaction is hostility. What would you say are contributing factors to this attitude? I think Ujames was on to something when he made his video “Sexuality as a Commodity, a Weapon and a Tool,” wherein he posited that part of the visceral reaction we have when sex is brought up in our culture is that we perceive discussion of sex as lowering its value. But how can something so valuable that we feel casual conversation about it inherently tarnishes it be considered so vulgar? Just curious. Great post here, can’t wait for part 3!
I think that Ujames is absolutely correct when he talks about the “commodification of gender. We make such a big deal about it becomes something of value in and of itself. I don’t know how many women have auctioned off their virginity at this point, but it gives you an idea of how people place a price tag on something so silly. Because we make sex into all these different things, it makes it impossible to actually have a valid conversation about it.